


Thoughts

by ink_stained



Series: Enough for now [3]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Depression, Post-Squip Jeremy Heere, conflicted feelings about the Squip, post-squip depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ink_stained/pseuds/ink_stained
Summary: Some days Jeremy didn't know why he got rid of the SQUIP.
Series: Enough for now [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1271018
Kudos: 8





	Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am again.   
> This is very short because it's mostly a vent for me.   
> It has some themes of depression, like the rest of this series, but I think that it's not that bad but please that caution if you're in a bad place.

Some days it was harder than others to remember why he wanted to get rid of the SQUIP so badly. Some days it was harder to remember all the bad things it did and how it turned his life upside down. Some days it was just easier to focus on all the good things it had done. He had been popular for a while, he had been so close to getting together with Christine, or failing that Brooke, and for a while, he didn’t feel like a loser every time he woke up. 

He knew that the SQUIP was bad. Of course he knew that. It had almost SQUIP:ed the whole school. It had almost cost him his friendship with Michael. But still, some days it’s hard to focus on that and not on the simplicity of following directions and not having to make all the decisions himself. 

He knows that he shouldn’t think like this. His life is good now. He’s happy, or at least happier. He has friends, and Michael is by his side. He doesn’t need a supercomputer telling him what to do. 

Except…

Except, that some times he feels like he does. Because some times the world feels just a bit too big and the people just a bit too hostile. And on those days he curls up under the blankets and wishes for a simple solution again. Just for a while. Just for now until he gets a grip on how the world works and manages to stand on his own two feet. It can’t be that bad. 

He knows that he can’t do it. Not again, not when he knows the risks. But some days? Some days the risks don’t seem to be as great. 

On those days he hides from the world under the covers of his blankets until Michael comes home and tries to chase the demons away. It doesn’t always work but most of the time it makes him feel a bit better, just knowing that Michael will always be by his side to help him when he’s not strong enough to help himself. 

Jeremy knows that he’s better off without the SQUIP but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. 

Some days it is harder than others to remember why he got rid of the SQUIP. But on those days Jeremy tries to remember that as long as he keeps his head up and tries his hardest then he’ll get there. Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and comments if you want to, that always brightens my day <3


End file.
